The Real World

PART II:

Am I moving on to round 2 of the Real World auditions? I have absolutely no idea. They told everyone that they would call within 24 hours if they were interested. The next round would be an interview over Skype with the head Producers in (presumably) L.A.

If I do receive the call, I will go. However, if I don't... I won't be too upset. Simply because 90% of the individuals who I interviewed with were CRAAAAZZZZY!

I arrived around 4:00 PM (the last interviewees arrived at 4:30 PM). I was handed a 3-page form and asked to answer each question. The questions were what I expected:

Do you do drugs?

Have you ever been incarcerated?

What is your relationship like with your family? Describe.

What was your most embarrassing moment?

Why do you want to be on the Real World?

How heavily do you drink?

Are you in a relationship? If so, how strong is the relationship? Where does it stand?

Do you have children?

Have you ever received a DUI?

What are you passionate about?

What is your current job?

Do you plan on pursuing your career or passion while on the Real World?

What would you friends say about you? What is your best trait? Your worst?

What do you look for in a significant other?

... that's all I can remember...

I answered every question (after adding a fictional semi-dramatic, good-for-tv-esk response, then headed into a waiting area of about 100 people. [Supposedly the line was triple that number in the morning]).

From there a charismatic 30-something year-old man took us to a large oval table and asked us the same questions, but he delved further into each one after our initial response.

This is what brings me to the reason why I would not mind moving on...

One of the guys in my group, Craig, told a 5 minute-long story about a time when he really needed to piss while road tripping by himself. As opposed to pulling over, Craig grabbed a beer bottle that he had just polished off (while driving) and began to urinate into it like Jim Carrey in Dumb & Dumber. As he was peeing, he began to speed and was pulled over by a cop. The cop (supposedly) not only saw him peeing into an open beer bottle, but Craig had to keep peeing, so he pissed all over the steering wheel, gas pedal, and his own leg... the cop watched it all.

The other person in my group was named Maria. We were asked to go in a circle and say one word to describe ourselves. After a series of responses such as, "Fun, Outgoing, Relaxed, Carefree, and Exciting," Maria replied, "Umm... honestly, I would say, 'Mean Bitch'." Everyone stared at each other baffled.

"Okay..." the prompter replied. We answered a couple more simple questions before being sent home and told to expect a call from an 8-1-8 area coded number.

If this Real World plot line dies on this blog, just assume that I was not asked to proceed to the Skype round. Also, consider me lucky that I will not be living in a house for 3-4 months with Craig and Maria.